Tonight, I talked to one of my closest friends about why me and her have been struggling this week. We were sitting in her car just being honest with one another about some of the curve-balls that life had thrown us the past couple of days and let me tell you that she is one of the most honest and genuinely sincere people I have ever met. She talked a little bit about how her relationship with social media has been toxic recently and how she wants to take a break from it altogether but keeps finding herself bored and scrolling through her feed. All I could do was nod my head because that’s just the dang truth sometimes. I have talked openly on my Instagram about some of my struggles I’ve had with social media in the past, but I have been trying to put my thoughts into words for some time now without any success. I hope you take the time to read what I would have said to myself in September of last year if I had the chance now.

Last year I didn’t even know if I was going to be able to make it a week without social media when I decided I needed a break. I wrote the words “Recently I’ve noticed how bad social media has really been for my self-image. I find myself stressing out about how my actions look from other people’s perspectives when I really need to be focused on how my actions reflect me as a person” on my Instagram.

Instagram has always been a positive experience for me. I have been introduced to all the blogs I read through Instagram, and I have been inspired by so many people sharing the struggles they are facing along with the encouraging messages they have. I have even realized what my passion in life is through some of what I have read, which has even allowed me to choose my major in college (a story for another day). For this reason, it really shocked me when I started to get angry every time I scrolled through my Instagram feed. I found myself continuously wondering why I seemed to be the only one just struggling with life sometimes. I was asking myself when did I start paying attention to the drama that was on my feed? When did I start paying so much attention to other people’s lives, and why did I stop focusing on the good in my own?

I realize now that I had stopped prioritizing myself. I had been focusing so much of my attention on what was making other people happy that I had stopped taking the time to ask myself the same question. I had stopped reminding myself of all the things that make me special. I had been comparing all my talents, my successes, my failures, my personality traits; everything that makes me unique to other people. The worst kind of self- sabotage.

I would recommend taking an extended break from social media to anyone who asks me if they should do it. No hesitation. Just delete it completely off your phone and I can tell you that you may not feel a difference immediately, but you will in time. You may even be stressed out and have no idea what to do with all the free time you just acquired at first, but eventually you will feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. What a huge difference spending some time focusing on yourself can do to your mental health. What change can happen when you stop comparing yourself and your life to other people. What growth can happen when you decide to spend time making yourself happy. I cannot tell you how long you should wait to re-enter the world of social media after this break. I cannot even tell you how long it is going to take you to learn how to take care of yourself and your mental health because every single person is different, but I can tell you that when you think you are ready, jump back in. Not the same way you were before, but with the goal of focusing on the good. Look for the quotes that inspire you to work for your goals. Look for the people supporting other people. Look for the perspectives you’ve never even considered. Look for the stories that make you laugh. They are there. You just may have to do some adjusting to see them clearly.

I can tell every person reading this that I had lost myself last year. I was grasping at straws trying to be everything to everyone and coming up short every time because I wasn’t being me. I read an Instagram post the other day that was talking about social media. “Give people the room to leave and the space to come back if they’d like and attach yourself to none of it because your worth doesn’t live here. KNOW THIS, that the souls who need your light, your love and your you-ness will always be there, cheering you on. Love you just as you are” (@jennaskitchen) and isn’t that just the DANG TRUTH.

So, I ask all of you reading this the same question I needed to be asking myself in September last year; why are you putting yourself on the back-burner? Take a break, focus on yourself for a while, and I promise you will come back a different person.

With all my love,

Nicky